


The Proposal

by Kay_Drew



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: F/M, Gen, Marriage Proposal, Romance, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-17 19:19:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13665606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kay_Drew/pseuds/Kay_Drew
Summary: Jess and Rory have been living together for awhile - first as friends, then as a couple, and now it's time to take it one step further. Written with the lovely Chuckles as Rory! A story for the ages. A story for the site 'Our Heroes and Villains'.





	1. The First Step

How the hell he pulled this whole thing off, Jess didn’t know. Rory, thank the stars up above, believed him when he explained the lock needed replaced. The whole week leading up to this moment was full of anxiety and diligent work. Every day he went to work, praying Rory wouldn’t take the hinges off just to put the stuff away. Then every night after she went to sleep he worked on his grand surprise all the while praying she didn’t notice the aroma of whitewashing paint wafting from under the doorframe.

 

He was exhausted, but thrilled with the room. The walls and floor were whitewashed, crisp and bright. New lace curtains billowed with the light, evening breeze coming through the cracked window. An antique writing desk, looking preteen thanks to a fresh coat of eggshell-white paint, stood there as if ready to be the foundation for brilliant thoughts. Covering the ceiling were strings of white lights that made the surrounds glow ethereally. More of those same lights, along with more lace curtains, canopied a futon platform laden with white pillows and white comforter. Underneath was the perfect built in bookshelf filled with Rory favorite novels. His toes curled sand grasped the circular rug chosen to keep her warm when she paced. It too was white and trimmed in crocheted lace. 

 

Everything was perfect although he hoped that the lilies weren’t too much. He’d put crystal vases of them everywhere – on the shelves, the top of the desk, and on the floor. It was too late to toss those. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an old red velvet ring box. The perfect sentiment, he prayed. Opening it, Jess stared at the ring. It was petite and glamorous. It was Rory. At least he thought so.

 

He knew he couldn’t just present it to her. That was lame. That wasn’t them. Instead, he flipped open an old copy of ‘The Fountainhead’ and nestled the heart-shaped ring box where the two pages diverged.  He’d chosen at random, but the quote highlighted by the glittering lights fit the moment perfectly.

 

 “Love is reverence, and worship, and glory, and the upward glance. Not a bandage for dirty sores. But they don't know it. Those who speak of love most promiscuously are the ones who've never felt it. They make some sort of feeble stew out of sympathy, compassion, contempt and general indifference, and they call it love. Once you've felt what it means to love as you and I know it - total passion for the total height - you're incapable of anything less,” he read to himself.

 

Few people could claim to love her job more than Rory Gilmore did, and yet she had to admit that she wasn’t especially fond of some parts of it, like the weeks when everything got utterly and completely chaotic. It was true that generally her work as a journalist here wasn’t particularly stressing (perks of not working for the NY Times) but deadlines were deadlines and this week she had been tasked with covering an important article.

 

He turned and left the room. His bare feet patted against the wood. Closing the door, he went downstairs. “Hey, Rory. I finally fixed the door. Want to take the stuff and put it away?” Jess asked, entering the kitchen and kissing Rory on the top of the head as she read something.

 

Jess loved watching Rory work and could have stayed there watching her all day. She got so into her writing that half the time he wondered if she realized there was anything but words and typing and paper and ink. He was okay with that. He was more than okay with that. How could she be any other way? It was unimaginable. He hated to disrupt her train of thought or working process, but sometimes it had to be done. This was one of those times.

 

Thankfully the worst was over, and this Sunday was quite peaceful if compared with the rest of her week; she was giving the last touches to her work in order to be able to have it ready for tomorrow. A familiar voice broke her concentration, a smile appearing on her lips, which widened when she felt his lips against the top of her head. The brunette saved the document and turned around, pressing her lips briefly against his after thanking him for fixing the door lock.

 

 

When Rory entered in the room, she almost dropped the books that she was carrying because of the sight that greeted her. Blue eyes opened wide as she entered to look at everything more closely, the scent of lilies filling the air (her favorite flower, of course that he’d remember). It was perfect, especially since she had wanted a more secluded place to work pretty much since she had moved to Storybrooke. The youngest Gilmore turned around until she noticed something on the desk, a book with a box on it. It couldn’t be…. Couldn’t it?

 

Rory approached slowly, this felt like a dream in a way. She had seen many types of rings but none of them felt as especial as this one, laying on top of a book that she had almost memorized; of course, The Fountainhead. What other book he could have used? Her eyes were wide as she tried to process everything.

 

She was breathless. Even if they were together, Rory had never discussed the idea of marriage with him. In fact, she had not even known if Jess was the marrying type. She had assumed that if he wanted he’d propose in the future and if he didn’t she would have accepted it. Not even in her wildest dreams she could have imagined him proposing now. She picked the small box and turned around, the thought hitting her full force.

 

_He was proposing._

 

“I have to say that this is more original than getting on one knee to ask,” she said, her voice choked with emotions and her eyes glistening a little with unshed tears of emotions.


	2. Sweet Whispers

While waiting for reaction, Jess swiped his hands on his pant legs. This was one of the most nerve-wracking days of his life. It was a good nervousness, unlike the times where there was dire threat (those days were also upsetting, but because they were marred by tragedy). The only thing that could go wrong is that she told him no. Jess didn’t want to think about that. They loved each other. Her kiss said so; he hoped his delivered the same message. “Any time,” he replied as an answer to the thanks.

 

The short trip up the stairs to the second floor was the slowest two minutes of his life. He gripped the box of books the whole time. Fingers were even going numb with the pressure, but it was ignorable. Once inside, he sat the box of books by the door. When Rory’s books slipped, he took them from her so that she could enjoy the space without having to juggling anything. “I think the lilies might’ve been a bit much,” he mumbled. At least the scent hid the fading aroma of paint. They had their use, he guessed.

 

The youngest Gilmore had been so overwhelmed by the gesture that she had forgotten for a minute that her boyfriend was close to her, but in her defense few people could blame her for being distracted after such a lovely gift. If someone had told her back when she was sixteen that Jess Mariano would pull such a romantic gesture for her, that he would invest the time and effort that something like this took just because she could use an office, she would have been a touch skeptical. This was another of the thousand of proofs that confirmed what she had known for months now that Jess had changed. He had managed to maintain the details that had made her fall in love for him; his wit (Even if it sometimes came in the shape of sarcasm), his love for literature, and good music… and he had managed to correct a little some aspects of himself (he had flaws of course, but that’s something that comes with being human). There was emotion in her blue eyes as she turned around “The lilies…you remembered that they are my favorite flowers didn’t you? Just…Jess they are amazing.”

 

Jess didn’t take his eyes off Rory. When she stepped further into the airy space, he followed. However he gave her space to take it all in. “Do you like it? It’s yours. This place, it’s all for you,” he whispered, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the key. “And I have a confession. I didn’t have to fix the door. I locked it. It was supposed to be a surprise.”

 

Announcing he lied was not the best way to start a proposal. However, he didn’t like lying to her. It had been important to him to keep this a secret and a surprise until it was ready so the fib seemed like the right action. Maybe it hadn’t been. “You don’t have to use the spot to work, if you don’t want to. But there’s a desk and I made sure you had a place to curl up and read if you wanted to,” he rambled. His nerves were showing.

 

“It’s lovely, but it must have taken you ages to do it all. When did you work on it? I hope that it wasn’t very expensive,” she was curious because her timetables meant that she coincided with Jess almost the whole afternoon and in the mornings they both entered quite early to their jobs. “I think that considering the big picture I can forgive you for that small lie,” said the brunette with a small smile.

 

At the mention of time, he shrugged while offering a sheepish smile. “There’s quite a few sleepless nights the last week or two to get it finished. I came and did the work after you went to bed. I’m surprised you didn’t smell the fresh paint,” he explained. “It didn’t cost as much as it looks like it might. The most was the paint and it wasn’t that much. The desk was pretty shabby when I got it. The lights were clearance.”

 

 

The brunette approached him with a soft expression in her face, her fingertips brushing his arm gently “Relax, I told you that it’s perfect. Although I have to admit that seeing you ramble is kind of cute.” A chuckle escaped her lips as a memory passed through her mind. “Kind of reminds me to your reaction when I found out that Luke had not been the one to send that care package.” Even if she had teased him about it, Rory had liked the gesture; it was Jess’ thing in a way, gestures that reflected how well he knew her.

 

Back when they had meet, she had not been very sure about her feelings, she was unable to pinpoint when she started to fall for Jess; Rory only knew that it just happened, and a part of her wondered if she had stopped at all. Of course that she had loved Logan, but in the end is what Jess had said, it was what it was, it was them.

 

Jess took the box from Rory. He took one hand in hers. “I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. You then spoke and I was infatuated. I never had met anyone as brilliant as you. I still haven’t. When we locked eyes, that was it for me. I was a goner,” he admitted. “You were sixteen. I was seventeen. I had never been surer of anything in my life.”

 

He played with her hand. He wove his fingers with hers and swung her arm a little. He felt quite shy and unsure, but he persisted. “I was screwed up. I was broken and lost. You became this beacon of light and of hope and of happiness. You were the best thing to every come into my periphery. It’s why I left when I was lost in the dark. I couldn’t bring you down. I think that might be why you said no. You were lost too.”

 

He blinked. The paint fumes and lilies were getting to him (not). He took in a deep breath and continued. “Through it all I wanted to be the man you deserved. You made me realize I wasn’t broken and that I could be that man if only I tried,” he continued as he dipped down onto one knee and looked up into her eyes. “And with that I wanted you to be happy. You made…make…me happy. I wanted the same for you. I understood I might not have been that person then. But maybe now? Rory Gilmore, will you marry me?”

 

When she saw that he was still nervous she tried to calm him down rubbing her thumb against the side of his hand, listening to his speech quietly as each word touched her deeply in ways that she had not experienced before. His words stirred powerful emotions and before she could stop them it a couple of tears fell from the corner of her eyes when he asked the question that once had been pronounced by Logan’s lips. But this time the answer would be different.

 

The problem was that after her boyfriend’s display of emotions she felt kind of speechless, but she didn’t need words to reply to his question. She just moved forwards pressing with lips against his with the same passion that she had many years ago, during Sookie’s wedding, tiptoeing as she added every ounce of emotion in the gesture. “I think that we have a wedding to plan, Dodger,” she muttered against his lips as the kiss broke.

 

 

 


	3. The Next Step

Jess found himself panicking. Rory wasn’t saying anything. She just gawked at everything around her. What was the expression on her face? What if she hated twinkle lights, lace curtains, and white washed furnishings? What if she preferred pink and fluffy (like that fuzzy hammer her mom made her all those years ago)? _I’ve made the biggest mistake in the world. We’re too young. We’re not ready. It’s too soon and too much. It’s too chaotic. Too much has happened_ , he thought, swallowing hard as he wiped his hands against his paint legs yet again _. I shouldn’t have asked yet. I should have waited._ Then, Rory mentioned the lilies that were sitting all around the world. It seemed that the flowers had not been too much, but instead the perfect touch.

“How could I forget that? How could I forget anything about you?” he replied in a voice about as clear as a tree frog croaking deep in the forest. Reaching, he brushed her Rory’s hair behind her ear. Cupping her head, he stroked her head. “I love you. I’d give you the world, if I could. I hope this is the world you want and need.”

Her favorite flower was something that had changed over the years; even if Jess didn’t know that. It used to be the sunflower until something happened to her, something that she had never told her boyfriend, a story that she felt like sharing now. “I think that I never told you why I love them so much right?” asked the brunette with a big smile on her lips, getting a bit lost in the memory. “After the dance marathon, when we started to date I was so nervous. I knew that I wanted to be with you, but everything had happened so fast; the break up, us…it was a bit overwhelmed. But after our first proper kiss, when I was walking I saw someone that was using lilies to decorate the garden and for some reason I stopped to look at them. Don’t ask me why but in that moment the fact that us being together was what was meant to happen hit me, that even if the process leading to it had been a bit chaotic it all was worth it.”

Rory swallowed, blue eyes looking away. “After you left, there was a time in which I hated them, because they reminded me of you and that first kiss,” admitted the girl, stirring not so pleasant memories. “But eventually they became my favorite flower again, because they reminded me of that even if things can be complicated at times, there’s always a chance of ending up where you are meant to be, in fact in Yale whenever I thought that I was going to fail for sure an exam I bought some Lilies, because whenever I looked at them they gave me the push that I needed to keep going.”

Logan had always bought her red roses; good intentions but the wrong flower. A soft smile appeared in Rory’s lips “I have you, mom and Luke, my friends, a house that I love and a job that is quite nice. I don’t want anything else.”

 At the mention of time, he shrugged while offering a sheepish smile. “There were quite a few sleepless nights the last week or two to get it finished. I came and did the work after you went to bed. I’m surprised you didn’t smell the fresh paint,” he explained. “It didn’t cost as much as it looks like it might. The most was the paint and it wasn’t that much. The desk was pretty shabby when I got it. The lights were clearance.”

  When she told him to relax, he exhaled. Her words drew his gaze to her mouth and he studied her lips as she spoke. “I can’t help it. I put a lot of work and thought into it. I didn’t want to mess this up. Besides, shouldn’t I be nervous? This is a big day for me too, you know that right?” he asked, looking at the ring box. “And who’s saying I’m rambling now or then? I wasn’t rambling. I’m totally cool. I was totally cool then, too. And you still can’t prove Luke didn’t send that care package? Maybe he denied it so I could look all romantic? Maybe he knew how I was feeling about you?” Jess was, of course, joking. How could he admit it? The truth would ruin his poise.

 Somehow this moment felt like their first one. It felt like he was first seeing her. In an essence, he was. He was truly seeing the woman she’d grown into. He was seeing how beautifully she had aged and matured. Her eyes held a wisdom that hadn’t been there when they met in their teenage years. As a teen, she’d been his girlfriend and he loved her. But, that love – it had changed in his heart. By his soul he knew he adored her. She was his world, but he didn’t expect her to think or feel the same. He loved her. He loved how she looked. He loved her thoughts and her wits. He loved how she touched him. He loved how she knew him and he knew her. He loved that cooking wasn’t her strong suit. Everything – he loved the whole package. Jess wasn’t sure he could convey those feelings into words. He hoped the actions were enough. He hoped his actions spoke far clearer. “I love you,” he whispered, again. “I always have and I always will.”

After asking the question, he raised to his feet. He wiped the tears from her cheeks while waiting for her answer. She kissed him instead of speaking. The passion left him breathless. Instincts kicked in and he returned the gesture all the while keeping a tight hold on the ring. Jess didn’t want to lose that important piece of jewelry. He broke from the kiss and took the ring from the box. With shaking hands, he slipped it onto her finger. It fit perfectly. “I think that ring was meant for your hand,” he whispered. He pulled her forward and picked up the book. “Check out the passage. I didn’t plan that. It just opened there. Fate, eh?”

Rory chuckled “Well I am not that surprised, sometimes I can be totally oblivious to super evident things remember? But I really like it; I wouldn’t have come up with better gift idea on my own.”

She looked at the ring box too, indeed a big day, a day that she would remember forever happily. An eyebrow rose as she crossed her arms, amusement clear in her blue eyes “Yes, Luke totally lied about the care package to make you seem the most romantic person in the universe,” said the brunette, her voice dripping playful sarcasm.

“Even when I ruin the dinner and you have to end up cooking because I should not be allowed near the kitchen?” started to ask jokingly as she put her arms over his shoulders “Or when I start to freak out when I get a deadline? Or when I eat all the pop tarts? Or when I steal the covers and refuse to be a morning person with you because I swear I don’t know how can you be so awake in the mornings” the smile totally let him know that she was teasing him. In the past she had doubted him when he had declared his love  but right now? She knew that Jess Mariano loved her, and she was completely sure of that she felt the same towards him.

Rory bit her lip as she tried to keep her emotions, the sight of the ring on her hand was quite overwhelming in the good way, and she could feel new tears gathering in her eyes. “Yes, I think that it was,” she said reminding her of a moment in a music shop in NY so long ago, her voice still chocked with emotions. She cleared her throat before speaking again. “Good proposal book, because if you had used Hemingway it wouldn’t have been the same. Granted, I would have said yes anyway. The idea of standing in a pretty white dress next to you while saying I do is very appealing.”


	4. Sweet Rambles

Jess kept his eyes on his fiancé. He couldn’t help it. Her taking in everything around them was magical. He loved her more than anything in this world – that smile, that passion, that spark, – and just looking at her made him feel whole. Her vitality cast a spell on him all those years ago and it was never undone. Jess never wanted it to be undone. When she asked him about the flowers, he shook his head. No, that was something she hadn’t revealed; although there was still a lot about the past they didn’t know about each other. 

“Nope, you didn’t. It seemed silly to wonder why. They’re pretty flowers. And why were you nervous? I was a nobody from the wrong side of the tracks. Did you think Sleepy Hollow would disown their golden girl?” he asked with a wink. Sometimes he had a hard time staying serious. This moment was one suck time. Jokes were his coping mechanism (a shield) and right then talking about the break up brought that shield up. “I’m sorry, Rory. I don’t think I’ve ever told you. But I’m sorry for leaving and breaking your heart. I’m sorry for making you hate lilies, even for a little while. And I will work my whole life to make up for the hurt and pain I caused you. I will work my whole life so you can stay in this house as long as you want and while I never quite got the close parent thing, I am going to work my hardest so you and Lorelai won’t have to be apart. I will protect you and your mother and Luke. You are my Queen. This is your castle. And I will do everything for you because I love you. I don’t think I say it enough. I don’t know how to say it enough. But I do. I love you. I always have and I always will.” 

He meant what he said. He would protect her with all his might and use any resource at his disposal. He might not have magic, but he had skills. 

“You didn’t say sorry but I always knew, even if it took me a while to realize it.”

She had been so scared and mad back when he had visited her at Yale. She knew that it was not a good thing that she had not left with him that night, nor he or she would had been ready to run away, it would have been a disaster but she could have been kinder in her refusal. 

“You don’t have to do any of that Jess. I just want you to be you. I don’t want you to feel like if you need to make up for anything,” said the brunette smiling softly. “You know, the best thing is that even if we aren’t the whole day around saying I love you to each other. It’s fine because you kind of say it in other ways which is better than words, because I know you and you say it in the small details, like that time when you came to my job to pick me even if you were having a rough week only because my car wasn’t working or when you helped me to relax before the day of the job interview.” Logan and Dean had said these words all the time and, yet they have never sounded more strongly than when Jess kissed her while she was half asleep in the morning, passing her the infinitely needed first cup of coffee.

Jess chuckled along with her and nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’ve never been happier than you were a little oblivious. I worked hard to make it a surprise,” he replied, planting a kiss on her back of her hand. “I’m sure you would’ve come up with something just as goody, if not better.”

As she pulled her hand away and crossed her arms over her chest, he whimpered. He was thoroughly enjoying holding her hand. “Well, yeah. Why wouldn’t he lie? He knows you well and he knows me well. Neither of us would’ve done anything. So maybe Luke is a habitual liar, thus moonlighting as cupid. Even if that isn’t the case, it worked. We’re together. We should thank him,” Jess suggested, continuing the playfulness. 

Rory bit her lip trying to suppress a smile at his joke. Of course he had said something like that after the information that she had shared; it suited him. His sarcasm, his wit and comments, had gained nothing good back when they were teens, but it was one of the things about him that she had liked about him. 

“Especially when you messed up dinner because that meant I could cook for you and take care of you. Banning you from the kitchen is for our own safety and our safety is top priority,” he replied, pulling her close. “And when you freak out a bit and eat the Pop Tarts. You like them more anyway. And the covers? Well, I’d give you the clothes on my back if you needed them. And you’re cute when you’re grumpy. I love you when you can’t find your favorite pens and search the whole house. I love how you make a mess when you’re so into your work. I love how you defend your ideas even if no one else agrees with them. I love how you defended me because… no one had ever done that before. But at the time I knew I wasn’t right. The town didn’t think I was right for you and who was I to stand between the town and you?” 

“In the worst case scenario if they had disowned me then we would have just broken up. I mean, what was the appealing to date me besides of being with the town princess?” replied the brunette with a playful tone before giving a more serious response. 

“Dean had been my first and only boyfriend so far, and before you I practically had thought that we were going to be always together. That’s why I fought what I felt towards you for so long. I was afraid of change. I thought that he was the safest solution,” rambled the youngest Gilmore, trying to explain what she used to feel. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I have zero regrets about that part of my life. Dean had felt safe, but you can’t base forever in safe,” said Rory before biting her lip and looking to his eyes. “I would rather base safe in hoodies that smell a bit like bakery and takeout food while watching, for the hundredth time, Almost Famous/”

“The one good at coming up with surprises tend to be my mother, I tend to be a follower rather than a planner for that kind of stuff,” admitted Rory with a chuckle. Emily had always been talented in that area and Lorelai had her experience in the inn. The only two surprises that Rory had arranged alone were when she managed to invite Emily and Richard to her mother’s graduation and the prom based party that she had thrown because she wanted Jess to have that experience.

Rory couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of Luke trying to be a cupid. “I will make sure to send him a letter, maybe a nice fruit basket,” she said with a smile/ “Sometimes feels like it was yesterday when you showed up in my doorstep with a care package, and yet it has been like eight years? Time surely moves fast. Who would have guessed that we would end up where we are?”

“I have to say that as much as you love to take care of me I need to learn to cook more stuff, otherwise if you ever have to go for a trip I will only be able to eat scrambled eggs. While I daydream about your cooking,” joked Rory as she leaned her head on his chest as he pulled her closer. “That’s great because then I can confess that I love that you taught me that the ice cream is meant to be eaten in coones.” 

She said, laughing a little when a random thought appeared in her mind, “Something tells me that if mom was hearing us listing what we love about each other, we would have her making jokes about it forever.”  
“In all fairness I am still processing everything I think; just I am engaged with you and two hours ago I didn’t even knew if you were the marrying type. Sure I had given some thoughts to this, but I didn’t even know if you wanted it so I tried to not dwell on details just in case you know, you didn’t want to,” the brunette rambled a bit nervously, trying to express what she was thinking about without slipping that those thoughts had been in her mind for a while. “I can wear it. I think that you look better in a suit anyway,” said the brunette with a smile. “Although if I am going to be completely honest with you? There’s an outfit that I love when you wear it and it doesn’t have to do anything with formal clothing.” Because when he dressed in a style that reminded her to those years so long ago? Then he looked impossibly attractive.

With the tears, he leaned in and kissed them from her cheeks. “I like when things work out perfectly. What about you? What’s on your mind?” he asked, pulling her close. “I thought so. While Hemingway has lovely things to say about you, he’s not romantic. But, uh… who would be wearing that dress though? I’m not sure I’d look good in a dress. I could go for a kilt, but I’m not Scottish, sorry.” He laughed. He couldn’t help it. He was so happy. He never imagined how pleased he could be. “Let’s try out the loft bed. I have something else I want to show you. I think I might have something worth publishing.” Was this the right time to show Rory? He didn’t really know. 

Her eyes lightened as she moved to sit on the bed, excited to see what he wanted to show her. “If it’s half as good as your first book was, you should totally publish it,” she said waiting for him.


	5. The Eloquence of the Sun

Jess noticed the hinted smile fighting to spread over Rory’s face. In thought, he wrinkled his nose. Head going from one side to the other in feigned examination of the woman standing in front of the window and illuminated by faint light stream through the lacy curtains, he smiled and didn’t repress it. “What wasn’t appealing? You spoke...speak your mind. You are passionate. You aren’t afraid to take risks. You are beautiful and smart and kind and you had the whole world ahead of you,” he answered, fully serious. “And I wanted you to be safe. I wanted you to feel safe and secure. That wasn’t something I could give then. After all, I was the cause of a fight at Kyle’s part. That’s not safe. I wasn’t safe. I realized it then and had to do something. I didn’t want to hurt you or drag you down into that messy world I found myself in. But, I’m not that person. I’ve grown. At least I hope I have. I hope I can make you feel safe and I hope I can keep you safe.” She meant the world to him and would drop anything for her. Hell, he’d hitched a ride on the back of Luke’s truck just to see what was going on and if Rory was okay and then stayed to help out in any way possible.

“I was. I was so sorry. I am so sorry and I will make up for it every day for the rest of our lives. I messed up time and again. Didn’t know how to fix it, either. Even back at that night at Yale, I knew it wasn’t time and it wasn’t right. It could have been. Maybe it should have been. But we weren’t ready. Hurt was too fresh. Life wasn’t put back together,” he mused, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. “But I do. I have to and I want to. I was wrong. I was so very wrong. Everything I did was wrong and so was how I reacted. Plus, you love this place and I love you. This place makes you happy and I want you happy. When you smile, I smile. When you cry, I cry. Your laugher is my laugher. Your success is my success. Loving you is both the easiest and the hardest thing I could ever do. To honor that, mere words aren’t enough. Actions are my ‘I love you’. Before we met, love was indefinable. It seemed out of reach. Not anymore though. Not since that fateful night you were sitting at your computer next to some patchwork chicken. That smile you gave, so full of hope and innocence, always seared into my memory because at that moment I knew I was a goner.”  He hadn’t wanted anyone else but Rory and doubted he ever would. Yet, Jess had come to terms with the fact his love might not have been returned.

He cocked and eyebrow in disbelief. “Oh really? I thought you were part of the DAR or something like that. You planned some sort of 1940’s event as a charity. It made it to the papers in Philly. Every reporter claimed it was a huge surprise. You, uh, looked beautiful. Your hair was particularly lovely, although it always looks nice. It just looked a little nicer,” Jess reminded her with a sheepish smile. Sometimes complimenting girls was hard. “So I think you have some talents in the surprise department.”

Her suggestion made him chuckle. It brought back fond memories of long ago. “Be sure to sign my name and include a lot of apples. He likes them I hear,” he replied. With talks of time, he nodded. He couldn’t believe it had been that long. “It feels like yesterday. I kind of wish Dean hadn’t showed up then. That Paris of yours was fascinating to talk with.” He could hardly believe they were standing in the midst of a proposal. Back then it hadn’t seemed like a possibility. Even a few months ago Jess hadn’t imagined this would happen.

“But you do the clothing shopping and the laundry. So you take care of me, too. But okay…okay we can have some cooking lessons if you want. Although why would I want to be away from my beautiful fiancé?” he asked while stroking her soft hair. He smiled as he thought about their trip for cones. “I told you that ice cream isn’t ice cream unless it’s in cooones. It just doesn’t taste right. I think Lorelai would agree even if she thought our conversation right now was joke worthy.” Used to he would have minded. Not now, though. He could care less. Besides, Jess was certain Luke and Lorelai had their own on-going love list.

“Yeah, I am too. I didn’t think I was until meeting you. I wouldn’t marry unless it was to you. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone but you and I didn’t want to. It was fine. Being a loner had its own mystique,” he admitted, smiling as she rambled. He loved when she did that. He listened and kissed her on the top of the head as he did so. “Good. I’m glad that you don’t expect me in a dress. But I am curious to know what that outfit is that you like me in so much. Everything I have is about the same, not that I mind.” He really didn’t know what outfit she thought of. He really didn’t own many clothes – jeans, sweaters, and t-shirts for the most part. He liked to keep his wardrobe simple. Fewer choices made life just a little bit easier.  Little time spent shopping also made life easier. It seemed like a win-win situation.

Jess sat down on the bed. He pulled her into his lap and kissed her cheek. “My first book wasn’t all that great,” he mumbled, grabbing the book off the shelf. It was a hand-bound book. On the front ‘The Eloquence of the Sun’ was scrawled. “It’s about two people, lost in time, trying to find their way back to each other and trying to find out who they, themselves, really are.”


	6. Sweet Remembrance

His words stirred a memory - her speaking to Lane about how Dean felt safer than Jess, more secure while Jess had been more unpredictable (which had been thrilling and scary in a way). It was like when he had asked all those years ago to leave with him; her negative had not been born because of a lack of feelings but rather out of fear. Fear of him changing his mind and leaving her again, because she had been sure of that her heart wouldn’t have been able to handle being left behind again.

But he had changed. He was still in many ways the boy with a crooked smile and a love for books that had made her fall for him. Yet she wasn’t scared of him leaving anymore because now she could affirm that she could count on him. “What happened at Kyle’s party was not okay, but we were young and I think that we can agree on that miscommunication was a big part of our problems. I couldn’t find a way to make you open to me. To be honest, me comparing you with Dean as much as I did likely didn’t make things easy for you,” she said. A touch of understanding in her blue eyes, because over time she had learned that even if he was the one that left, she was partially to blame in how events developed. Rory smiled at him in a way that said without words that she agreed with him - that he had grown up. Rory also had changed over the years. In some things for the better in others for the worse she guessed, but that was life; change and development.

Should he have broken the silence? Jess wasn’t sure. Maybe Rory needed the time to process the room and their engagement. Maybe she just wanted to stand in silence. But she talked and he listened. He nodded. He sighed. “No, it wasn’t okay. It wasn’t okay at all. I promise that won’t happen again. I should’ve told you. Kissing seemed easier than talking back then and I didn’t know how to tell you I failed. Letting you down seemed like the worst thing I could do. Letting everyone down did and I…was and I couldn’t process it,” he replied. “And it’s okay. He was your first. No one is comparable to firsts. But, I have news for you, I’m not Dean. I never will be either. I hope that’s okay. I don’t really want to be. If you ask me he had the funnier hair. That’s what his kid sister told me, wasn’t it? Ah, what did that squirt call me hair? I can’t remember. I think it was funny…” He hadn’t thought about that moment for a long time, but that moment made him smile a little. They were so young and naive back them. 

“I think that by now you have made up for everything so don’t worry about it Jess,” she said leaning her head against his arm. “We are masters of bad timing, but in the end we got it right and despite of all the hard moments it was worth it. This is worth it,” she said as her lips curled in a content smile as she felt his fingers entwining with hers. 

He kissed the top of her head and pulled her close. She was warm and soft in the best possible way. Her curves fit his curves (did he have curves). This was home. This was life. This was everything. “I am always going to be here for you. I will always protect you and love you and respect you. That is my vow,” he promised. He said those words with absolute sincerity. “No, correction we were masters of bad timing. Not anymore. I am not going to waste any more time. This place is the start of us mastering the right time. And this place makes me happy, happier than I could ever imagine.” He kissed her on the head again and pulled Rory a little closer. “As long as they’re happy tears I’m okay with it. I stocked the room with tissues. One of the drawers is full of them.” 

“This place makes me happy because of the people that is here; you, mom, Luke, the friends that I have made,” she said quietly “If you keep saying all these nice things I am going to get emotional and you will have to deal with me hugging you while crying.” She said as a joking warning as she felt her feelings stir at the words coming from her boyfriend (well now fiancé). Her voice thick with emotion.

 

A slight blush appeared on her cheeks. “You are right I guess. Did you really like the hair? Maybe I can someday give that hairstyle a shot again, for a special occasion,” she said shyly. “Yes, I mean Paris was at times a bit overwhelming but I really miss her.” Said the brunette with a touch of nostalgia in her voice; Lane, Paris her grandparents…people who had been very important in her life and which she missed dearly, if she was honest.

“Maybe I want to give my incredibly good looking fiancé a cooking surprise someday that doesn’t involve accidentally triggering the fire detector,” she said with a chuckle. “I don’t doubt it. They really love each other don’t they?” She said, it had taken them time but in the end love has given both her mother and Luke a chance, which seemed to be the definitive one.

Jess raised his eyebrow and the smile turned into an open-mouth grin. “Are you sure that’s such a good idea? You ended up in the ER, remember? So maybe I should cook for my beautiful fiancé. I heard that women think it’s sexy when a guy cooks or is ‘Galmour’ wrong?” he joked, squeezing her shoulders. “They do. I think they love each other almost as much as we love each other.” 

“I can imagine it, the loner vibe, the leather jacket and the hair style. I bet that you had girls swooning over you Mariano,” she said teasingly before biting her lip shyly when he asked about the outfits. “Uhm, I am quite fond of when you wear clothes that remind me to the teen years, like when the other day you were wearing that band shirt with a some jeans that really look good on you.” She admitted speaking fast before changing the topic. “But you kind of look good on everything so I guess that it’s just a silly personal preference.”

They then talked of lighter things. A goofy smirk played with the corners of his lips. “You always look beautiful, but yeah. I liked it. Well, I loved it. It showed off your eyes and I love your eyes,” he agreed. He didn’t know what else to say about Paris. He’d liked her the couple times they had hung out. She was smart and had good taste in books, but she did not compare to Rory. No one could. “I wouldn’t want to date her, though. Only you. You were my first, you know. I mean you were my first girlfriend.” 

In the quiet, he looked around this room. He’d poured his heart and soul into making it perfect for her. He tried to bring in elements of her room back in Sleepy Hollow – the curtains, the wood, the books. He remembered a writing desk in the hallway, too. But didn’t know if this was right for Rory; he worried it was too feminine and didn’t match her taste. “If you don’t like the space we can change it,” he whispered. “I should’ve asked first. I’m sorry for not asking first. I wanted to be romantic.” 

“You keep saying that, yet I loved it,” she said looking expectantly at the book. “I think that I am going to like this one, too.”

Did they? He really didn’t notice. “I don’t know about that. I think I was a little too intense for most girls and my affinity for obscure literature was a bit of turn off I think. Besides, I didn’t really have any eyes for anyone else. Just you. It’s always been you and it always will be you until I am 90-years-old and in a wheelchair. Maybe even after that,” he explained. “Well that’s easy. I think I can keep on doing that. Except for our wedding you’ll get something different. A suit. How’s that? Maybe a top hat and tails, too? What do you think?” 

Before handing it to Rory, he studied the cover. It was so simple, two streaks of color (blue and pink) in the middle of a butter-yellow circle with a navy background – two figures standing in the moonlight. “I think you will too. It’s about us. It’s our story, Rory,” he whispered, kissing her on the lips. “Oh….I, uh asked your mom. I asked her if I could marry you.”


	7. The Future is Us

“If you had asked me the surprise would have been ruined and when I said that I loved it I really meant it,” she said with a soft smile. Considering how much story they had together at this point it was a safe guess to say that Jess knew quite well Rory’s tastes in the same way that she knew his.

 

He nodded and chuckled. She had a point. “I’m sorry it didn’t involve a flash mob or anything. I don’t think a dance troop would’ve fit in here,” he joked, kissing her temple and taking her hand in his. He might not profess his love in words, but he did it actions. Actions spoke louder than words, at least in his book.

 

The brunette moved her hand gently to put it over his, in order to reaffirm what she had said before without words. The past was in the past, especially considering that Jess had not meant to hurt her the way he did. Besides she wasn’t the best either, always comparing him with Dean and putting expectations on the table without being willing to realize that at times she held some guilt in their arguments. “Yes Clara mentioned something like that,” she said with a chuckle. “You are not Dean and I will never ask you to be him. He had flaws and virtues, like anyone else,  but in the end it wasn’t meant to be.”

 

Her fingers were soft and warm against the top of his hand. Her touch sent shivers down his spine. Her hands felt safe and comforting. Her hands were grounding. Her hands were home. “Yeah, I don’t know where she got the idea of spiky hair funny. Granted Dean’s hair was floppy. Now that was funny,” he joked as the mood turned more light hearted than romantic. He rolled his eyes a bit.  “Good. Dean wanted fights. He wanted me to fight him. I wouldn’t then and I wouldn’t now. I’m surprised he didn’t become a boxer.” One particular Thanksgiving evening stuck out in his mind. Dean had tried and failed to get Jess riled up enough to start a fistfight.  He didn’t succeed.

 

“I love you and I love that you don’t want me to be Dean. I don’t want to be him,” he mused. “I want to be the man you deserve, though.”

 

“Hey no spoilers, keep the vows for the wedding Mariano,” she said a touch playfully before giving him a brief kiss. “You are completely right, besides you have enough titles with master cooker and master writer of books margins.” It was hard for Rory to hide the happiness that she was feeling. Jess was right they had been awful when it came to the right timing but now they were having their chance to get things right and in her opinion they were doing it pretty well so far. “Oh? I believed that you and Shane were dating,” she said genuinely surprised. She no longer felt jealousy towards the blonde so she really didn’t care about the answer, but she was curious about it.

 

Those thoughts were driven away as she brought up wedding vows. He rolled his eyes and smirked. “Oh, you’re no fun. Why not hear the vows now instead of later? You know you’ll be crying. Half the people at the wedding will be crying. You won’t even hear what I’ve got to say. If you’re sure I’m just going to have to do better. Maybe pull a Jack Pearson or something like that. He sure has a way with words at least his writers do,” he joked with her. Shane’s name made his nose wrinkle up. “Shane and me date? We made out…. a lot. We were both bored and hurting and needed a distraction. I don’t think we said a hundred words to each other.”

 

“You can always bring me coffee. I’ll be happy with that. I just don’t want you hurt in the kitchen, “ he whispered in her ear.

 

“Well maybe instead of cooking I meant ordering takeout,” she said with a smile. “I don’t read Glamour lately, so I wouldn’t know, but I can confirm that you are very appealing while cooking, or any moment of the day really,” she said with a small smirk curving the corner of her lips that was turned into a soft expression at his words. “The feeling is mutual. I mean I am not going to lie. I loved Dean and Logan but as you said one, it is what it is. You and me.”  She chuckled when he mentioned the wedding attire. “Tempting. I guess that I shall improvise my choice in attire.”

 

He laughed and kissed her. “I’m glad you think that. I’m going to teach you how to cook something, okay? We’ll turn on some music and dance and cook and it’ll probably turn out awful, but who cares? We’re going to do it together,” Jess replied, nodding a bit as she spoke of Dean and Logan. “Yeah, it is what it is. We can’t change the past, but we can shape the future. The future is ours. The future is bright and beautiful. I am honored to spend the rest of it with you. No matter what you were or do I will be by your side. Thick or thin, you can count on me.”

 

“I can’t wait to read it,” she said touching the cover of the book tenderly before moving her face to meet his lips in the kiss. “Oh? How did it go?”

 

“I asked you didn’t I?” he replied, hoping that was enough to answer the question. “And good, but maybe we should celebrate first and read later?” He drew an arm around her waist as he kissed her on her lips and down her jaw and on her neck. This was heaven.  This was home.

 


End file.
